Category: Stacey Jaine McIntosh

Somehow despite the best of intentions, I haven’t written since April. Apologies, but life as they say, got in the way and I’m still very much in the thick of it, dealing as best I can.

I ended April, true to my wordcount goals, whereas in May I only made 2,500ish words. June was worse. The simple fact being  that depression and anxiety don’t go hand in hand with writing, at least when medicated. It’s still very much a work in progress but I’m happy to say I’m now writing again, and determined to make July’s goal.

June… well that was harder still, and I’ve yet to make mention of it at all really. The simple fact that on the 13th my mother in law lost her battle with cancer. To say it’s been hard, is an understatement. And no matter how good my intentions, going forward, using my own experience as a guide doesn’t seem in anyway helpful.

Therein lies the problem I suspect. In eighteen days, it will have been eight years since my own mother passed away, and I’m nowhere near done with the grieving process. Fact is you never truly get over the loss of a loved one. It fades, but there will always be a gaping hole in your chest where the person ought to be.

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Well I had planned to post once a month but that went out the window the moment my laptop died on the 1st of March. I’m hoping to replace it before June rolls around, and if not by then before November. Because there is no way I’m participating in NaNoWriMo while having to write on my phone.

As to my #365challenge stats, I wrote 10,299 words in March and February netted me 10,026. So far In April I have written 5,079. I’m aiming for 14,000 so we will see. If I succeed though by the end of April I will have written 50k. Halfway towards my goal.

As for right now, I’m participating in a 5k walk/run/write challenge run by the #10minutenovelist group on Facebook. The walking part is easy, it’s the writing that’s proving difficult. Hence this blog and a thousand other things that I wouldn’t normally write are happening. LOL. Anything to get the words.

I’ll let you know how I did by the end of the weekend. Fingers crossed.

No, I’m not going to a convention but it is Book Week at my kids school. So the husband and I were hashing out last minute costume changes and got onto the subject of all things… Joss Whedon. Yes we’re are fans, fanatics to the point that each one of our children bears the name of a major or minor character featured in the Buffy/Angel universe.

Alexander “Xander”… is after the character Alexander LaVelle Harris

Lilia “Lily”… is after the blonde girl Anne who is actually known by many names, including Chonterelle and Lily)

Caleb… is after the priest in Season 7, named Caleb

Quinn… is not named after a character but an actor. Glenn Quinn played Allen Francis Doyle in Angel Season 1.

And it turned into a what if scenario. What if Mal was a girl. What would her name be? This is what we came up with:

Captain Malcolm Reynolds – Malissa

Jayne – Jamie

Zoe – Zachary

Simon – Simone

Kaylee – Kale

Sheppard Book – First idea was Paige, second was Story and third well it’s still in the works

While it’s not a complete list it is one that’s still in the works. If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them. 😀

It needs saying. I woke up this morning to the news that Robin Williams was dead. At first I thought it was a hoax, but reading the reports and noting where they came from I quickly realised it was indeed real.

Robin Williams, was dead… and he was only 63.

It saddens me to think that the actor who starred in some of my favourite movies as a child, some of which I’m just rediscovering since news of his death broke, will not go on to star in anymore.

I don’t often speak of my own anxiety and depression, because its not something I like talking about publically. It’s not something that people want to know about.

Fact is, mental illness, and disorders carry with them a stigma that has not yet been completely shaken off, and it doesn’t matter how much society has progressed Depression and Anxiety are still two disorders that people fail to understand.

It’s a little like grief really. Everybody deals with it in different ways. No two people are the same and there’s no right or wrong way to deal with it. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for another, and that is mainly where a lot of the misconceptions spring from. People read something on Depression and Anxiety and immediately think they are an expert. They start offering up advice on ways to cope that won’t necessarily help the person going through it.

Take my Depression and Anxiety. Music is a massive tool that helps me through both. Writing used to be, but I no longer find that productive as my writing becomes darker when I’m Depression and the words don’t come when I’m anxious anyway, so there is no point but to wait out the symptoms and lose myself in music and other seemingly frivolous distractions.

So it is on that note I end this post… and tonight once my children are tucked up in bed for the night I will be sitting down and watching “Dead Poets Society” and following it with “Good Will Hunting” in Tribute.

Nobody could have played Batty Koda better in Ferngully but you Robin. RIP

So this week marks the start of a writers shootout that I am apart of, yet again. Which means its also the start of a six week stint of writing and reviewing short stories… which in itself can be hectic but add in joys of four kids and all that goes with it and trying valiantly to finish the first draft of a novel that’s been in progress for over two years and I’m close to curling up on the floor in a foetal position and staying there… and not getting up.

So there’s 12 days left. Well 11 days and twenty minutes but anyway.
I’m planning mostly in my head at the moment I will be printing out my short story and other bits and pieces later because it’s likely part of my novel will be written on my iPhone. I need to invest some money in a keyboard, I think. I haven’t one finger typed since primary school and it’s annoying to say the least.
Meanwhile, if any of you are doing NaNoWriMo and want to friend me on the forums I’m Rhiannon Brid over there. I took the username from two Celtic Goddesses associated with writing, creativity and inspiration.

So, it’s 13 days out from NaNoWriMo and I’ve realised one thing: I have a horrible track record when it comes to blogging.
To be completely fair though my kids have gotten sick twice since I last wrote a blog.
Illnesses aside I have figured out the jist of my novel. I know the opening scene and I know the ending – more or less.